I've been in love for a long time now, 12 years to be exact, which in dog years is... well, let's not go there. In those years, we've watched the world change, we've watched each other's hair change, and we've watched a whole lot of Netflix together. We've been through thick and thin, ups and downs, Game of Thrones' series finale, you name it.
Now, after all these years of dating, we've reached a juncture where I'm ready to swap my 'Lover' badge for a shiny new 'Husband' one. Only problem? My wallet seems to have a less-than-romantic outlook on life.
Sure, we both have stable jobs, steady incomes, and a shared Netflix subscription. But every time I think of a wedding, followed by marriage, followed by (gulp) children, my wallet starts shaking like a Chihuahua in a thunderstorm. My boyfriend, bless her heart, shares my practical approach. We don't want to plunge headfirst into the great ocean of life without our life jackets securely fastened.
And yet, I find myself looking at my parents, who jumped off the cliff of life with nothing but a couple of parachutes stitched together with hope and determination. They allowed us to learn from hardship, to find our strength in the midst of their struggles. A part of me admires them for that. And then another part of me remembers the times when dinner was a slice of bread and a whole lot of imagination.
Sometimes, I think we're just being too cautious, hoarding our pennies like a pair of paranoid pirates. I mean, does anyone really have their life entirely figured out? Isn't life just a series of 'let's see what happens' moments, stitched together in a crazy, beautiful, unpredictable quilt?
But then again, is it wrong to want a little certainty? To want to ensure that our future family never has to worry about the things we had to worry about? I guess the jury's still out on that one.
So for now, we'll keep squirreling away our savings, discussing hypothetical baby names, and binge-watching Netflix. And hey, who knows? Maybe someday we'll look into each other's eyes and realize that we've been ready all along.
Until then, it's Ramen noodles, shared dreams, and the eternal question: "What are we going to watch tonight?"
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