Alright, Universe, let’s have a word. I just have one simple question: Where is my confidence? Because last time I checked, I was blessed with beauty, got a decent serving of brains, and even a solid sense of humor. But confidence? It must’ve been out of stock when I was born. Or maybe I accidentally unchecked that box when I was customizing my personality in the pre-life selection menu.
Because let me tell you, it’s rough out here trying to navigate life with all these so-called “blessings” but no confidence to use them properly. Imagine having a brand-new, top-of-the-line sports car—but the driver (me) is too anxious to take it out of the driveway. What’s the point of having the horsepower if I’m just going to park it in the garage and stare at it?
I can string words together beautifully in writing, but put me in front of an audience, and suddenly, I forget how the English language works. I’ll spend an hour crafting the perfect message for an email, only to hesitate for 20 minutes before hitting send, as if Gmail is going to self-destruct if I make a typo. And don’t even get me started on phone calls. If you think I’m answering a call on the first ring without panicking, you clearly have too much faith in me.
The worst part? It’s not like I’m lacking in skills or talent. I know I’m capable. I know I can do great things. And yet, when the moment comes to show up and prove myself, my brain decides to hit the emergency brakes and whisper, “Or... we could just not?”
But here’s the thing—I’ve found ways to compensate. Since I can’t exude effortless confidence, I’ve become that person who cracks a joke at the worst possible time just to ease the tension. You know the one—the human meme in the group chat, the person who can turn their own existential crisis into a stand-up routine. It’s a great party trick, really. People think I’m naturally funny, but the truth is, humor is just my default defense mechanism. If I can’t be bold, I’ll be the comic relief in my own life.
And honestly? Maybe that’s not the worst thing. Maybe confidence isn’t just about walking into a room like you own it. Maybe it’s also about owning your quirks, rolling with the awkward moments, and finding a way to thrive despite the self-doubt. Because let’s face it—self-doubt isn’t going anywhere. But if I can’t get rid of it, I might as well make it laughable.
So, Universe, I’m still waiting for my confidence delivery. No rush, but if you could expedite shipping, that’d be great. Until then, I’ll keep making the best out of what I do have—brains, beauty, and an impressive ability to turn social anxiety into a comedy special.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s all the confidence I really need.
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